Marriage

C

Conventions and Taboos

Marriage is part of a society’s kinship system, which defines the bonds and linkages between people (see Kinship and Descent). The kinship system also dictates who may or may not marry depending on those bonds. In some cultures people may only marry partners who are members of the same clan—that is, people who trace their ancestry back to a common ancestor. This practice of marrying within one’s group is called endogamy. Exogamy, on the other hand, refers to the practice of marrying outside of one’s group—for example, marrying outside one’s clan or religion.

One rule shared by virtually all societies is the taboo (social prohibition) against incest—sexual relations between two closely related individuals. Definitions of which relationships are close enough to trigger this taboo vary a great deal, depending on the society. In most cases the prohibition applies to relationships within the biological nuclear family: mother and son, father and daughter, or brother and sister. In many cultures, the taboo applies to relationships created by divorce and remarriage (step relationships) as well as to those based on biology. The prohibitions on incest and the rules for marriage do not necessarily coincide. In Britain, for example, steprelatives are not allowed to marry one another, but sexual relations between them are not legally forbidden. A few societies constitute exceptions to the general rule against incest. In ancient Egypt brother-sister marriage and sexual intimacy was permitted in the royal family, probably to maintain the “purity” of the royal bloodlines.

D

Monogamy and Polygamy

In the United States and in other Western societies, both law and longstanding tradition dictate that marriages are monogamous—that is, an individual is married to only one other person. This form of marriage exists in all cultures and is the most common form, even in places where other arrangements are recognized. People in monogamous cultures may not have more than one marriage partner at a time. However, if a marriage ends due to the death of a partner or divorce (legal termination of marriage), remarriage is acceptable. Thus, people in monogamous cultures may have more than one spouse during their lifetimes.

Some cultures recognize polygamy—that is, marriage to more than one wife or husband at a time. The marriage of one man to two or more women at the same time is called polygyny. Polyandry refers to the marriage of one woman to two or more men.

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Where polygamy exists, in almost all cases it means polygyny is practiced. The Old Testament of the Bible describes the practice of polygyny among the ancient Hebrews. The early Christians outlawed polygyny, which had existed among the pre-Christian tribes of Europe as well as among Hebrews. During the 19th century in the United States, members of the Mormon religion practiced polygyny. Although the church officially rejected the practice of polygyny in 1890, some Mormons still engage in plural relationships. Under Islamic law today, a man may legally have as many as four wives (see Islam). Polygyny is also practiced in some African nations. Even where polygyny is an approved form of marriage, it is a relatively rare occurrence. In reality, most men cannot afford more than one wife. Anthropologists believe that polygyny reflects the male desire for prestige and paternity (fatherhood) rather than the sex drive. It is generally practiced in societies in which wealth, status, and even immortality depend on having many children.

Polyandry is extremely rare. Where it does exist, it seems to be associated with groups who live in extremely impoverished environments. Polyandry is also associated with areas in which there is a shortage of women in comparison to men. In certain areas of Tibet, a woman may marry the eldest son of a family and take his brothers as husbands also. This practice reduces competition among heirs and ensures transmission of land with minimal fragmentation.

III

Wedding Ceremonies and Customs

The ceremony that signifies the beginning of a marriage is known as a wedding. Weddings may be simple or elaborate, but they occur in virtually all societies.

A

Ritual Aspects

Anthropologists characterize wedding ceremonies as rituals of transition, or rites of passage. These rites occur when people cross boundaries of age or social status. Any social transition, such as the birth of a child or the death of a person, sets off changes in the lives of all those connected with the individual. Weddings and other rites of passage dramatize these changes for all involved and also allow for the expression of emotions brought on by the events. Weddings announce to the community the union of the individuals marrying and allow the community to express its approval of and support for that union.

Wedding rituals throughout the world share several common features. An essential element of nearly all wedding ceremonies is the symbolic expression of the union between the individuals marrying. This union may be signified by the exchange of rings, the tying of the bride and groom’s garments together, or simply the joining of hands. Other rituals emphasize the function of the marriage as the foundation of the family. For instance, in Hindu wedding ceremonies the bride and groom circle a sacred fire to promote the fertility of the union. Feasting and dancing at weddings by family and friends signifies the community’s blessing on the marriage.

B

In the United States and Canada

Until the middle of the 19th century, weddings in Western society were modest events that took place in homes. By 1900 formal weddings and their attendant rituals had become major events in middle-class families. The white wedding—a formal affair with the bride dressed in white—is now the standard throughout the United States, Canada, and Europe, and its practice has spread to Asia and Africa as well.

Many weddings involve a religious ceremony. These ceremonies vary depending on the religion of the bride and groom. Various religions or denominations have distinctive wedding customs. Roman Catholic ceremonies involve a nuptial mass, during which many scriptural texts concerning marriage are read. The presence of a priest and at least two witnesses is essential, as is the expression of consent by the bride and groom. In Orthodox Jewish celebrations, the bride and groom stand under a chuppah—a canopy that symbolizes the home the couple will establish. Following the ceremony the groom smashes a wineglass. Most scholars believe this act commemorates the destruction of the first Jewish temple (the Temple of Solomon in Jerusalem) by the Babylonians in 586 bc. In ceremonies governed by the Greek Orthodox Church, the “best man” places crowns attached by ribbon on the heads of the bride and groom, signifying divine sanction of their marriage.

Some American and Canadian couples prefer a nonreligious, or civil, wedding ceremony. Such weddings typically occur in commercial wedding chapels or reception halls, courthouses or other governmental offices, or outdoors. These events tend to be smaller and less formal affairs than traditional religious ceremonies. A government-certified, secular official administers the ceremony in the presence of at least two witnesses. Other couples elope—that is, they have a private wedding ceremony that does not involve a gathering of family and friends.

Most couples exchange some sort of marriage vows (promises). Vows may be prescribed by the church or written by the couple. Traditional Protestant vows include the promise to love and to cherish, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, until parted by death. The minister asks the bride and the groom if they each make this promise to the other and each responds “I do.”

Following the wedding ceremony, religious or civil, many couples hold a reception. At the reception friends and family gather to eat, drink, listen to music and dance, make toasts, and give gifts to the bride and groom. During the reception, the couple typically cut a special, large cake that is shared with all the guests. The bride and groom may also conduct a receiving line where they greet and thank each guest for attending their wedding.

Many newlyweds take a honeymoon trip after their wedding. During the honeymoon, the couple can spend time by themselves exploring their new status as husband and wife. Popular honeymoon destinations for U.S. and Canadian couples include Hawaii, Mexico, and the Caribbean.

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